This Is Not About The Election

I am not going to write about the presidential election. I want to, because honestly it’s the most haunting thing about my Halloween this year. I don’t want to think or talk or write about the election, but it seems I can’t help myself. It’s a specter that I cannot escape. Still, I promise you that this post is not about the election.

So much of what is going on in the world feels overwhelming and complicated and scary. This isn’t new, but it does seem to be in the forefront of our minds in a new way. All around us is a buzz of fear, anger, and hate. The news and social media just feed the buzz, keeping it purring until it is hard to hear anything else.

So much of what is going on politically and socially is pushing us further and further into our separate camps, into “us” and into “them.” The election isn’t the only place this is happening, but it makes it so unavoidably obvious. You are for one candidate or another, for this party or that party. And so much of this is driven by fear and distrust.

I have seen comments on social media stating “I don’t know anyone who actually supports (pick your candidate)” or “I don’t know anyone who actually believes (pick your social issue)” But oh, we should. We should know people who see and experience the world differently than we do. We should be talking to each other, learning from each other, seeing each other.

When we look at the world in terms of liberal and conservative, Democrat and Republican, pro-this and anti-that, we lose the fact that we are all people. When we only see in political orientation, gender, race, and religion, we lose the nuances, experiences, and personal realities that we need for us to really see each other. And when we stop seeing each other? So much of what is vitally important is lost.

We need each other. And we need those who are different from us as much or more as we need those who are the same. And when we stop seeing each other, we lose the gifts of our differences, the wisdom of our lived stories, and so much of the beauty that was put in the world.

We can disagree, and disagree firmly, with someone and not reject them. Someone can view something entirely differently from us, and we can still respect and value them. We can disagree with someone’s stance on a key issue and still value the goodness they offer the world.

When we speak about people and issues with sarcasm, hate, and condescension, we create distance and division. We add to the buzz of fear, anger, and hatred.

I heard someone say that we have lost the art of civil discourse, and it is so true. We expect all of our arguments and beliefs to fit into a sound bite, 140 characters, or a facebook article or blog post. But real conversations, real discussion, real change just doesn’t happen like that. Those things tend to happen face to face, with more thought, more time, and more words than our current modes of communication seem to offer.

We need more kindness and more respect. We need to learn how to disagree and still be kind and polite. We need to stop putting ourselves and each other into overly simplistic categories and learn to listen to each other.

These are broad culture comments, and sometimes I think these things but feel unsure of what to do about them. So let’s think small. The next time someone in our real 3D life makes a comment we disagree with, let’s be intensely mindful of our response. Do we want to engage? Do we want to let it go? How can we approach that discussion with kindness and respect? One conversation is a small thing, but it’s a significant start to shifting how we interact with people who think and feel and believe differently than we do. Let’s think about how to be kind and how to be respectful.

It’s a start, and that’s what matters.

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