Cranxious

I love words. Most of my favorite activities involve words…reading, writing, listening, talking. All are totally dependent upon language. As such, I find myself somewhat protective over words and those that try and mash them up and slay them. I won’t text “4” when I mean “for” and I won’t use the word “fashionista.” But some combinations of words just so perfectly describe an experience that I cannot help but love them.

For example, you’ve probably heard the term “hangry.” It’s a combination of hungry and angry, and most of us are very familiar with the experience. You are hangry when you are hungry and need to eat, and as a result you feel angry and annoyed at everyone and everything. There’s an entire series of Snickers commercials built around this experience. I love that word, because instantly we connect with it and identify with the experience.

One of my co-workers recently came up with a new one, a word that perfectly articulates an emotional experience most of us are familiar with but don’t necessarily have the vocabulary to describe. Imagine a time when you felt stressed, anxious, or unsettled. Did you find yourself acting irritably, cranky, and short-tempered? When people are anxious, they are likely to get cranky. They get cranxious. It’s a funny word, but I think most of us can identify with the emotional experience.

The other day I was headed away from the office and to a speaking engagement. My schedule was tightly packed, and I hit the worst traffic I have yet experienced since moving back to the Chicago-land. I was moving, but barely. Creeping down a road I had expected to cruise down. My husband called and I found myself responding in an incredibly irritated and impatient way. But he was not the problem. I was anxious about the speaking engagement, anxious about getting where I needed to be on time, and therefore I was acting cranky and rude. I was cranxious.

Research shows that articulating our emotions reduces their intensity and allows us to manage them in a more efficient manner. I think accurately naming our feelings gives us insight into how to care for ourselves and move forward. When we understand that our irritation is not actually triggered by what is in front of us, but by our underlying anxiety, we can care for our anxiety. We may find that once are anxiety is managed, our frustration completely evaporates.

On that drive home I quickly realized that I wasn’t mad at my husband. I was feeling anxious, and that feeling needed to be attended to. When we find ourselves acting cranky because of anxiety, the best course of action is to step back and determine how to best care for our stress. At times, that may look like a time out from an activity, creating space to breathe deeply and refocus. It may mean re-evaluating our schedule and demands to find a pace that feels more manageable. It may mean taking time for prayer and meditation. There are endless ways to care for anxiety; but if we are focusing on our irritation, we will never get there, and we will only add relational conflict to our stress.

It can be hard to find the right word to articulate an emotional experience, but when we do, it can be tremendously helpful. Even if those words are completely made up. And a little silly.

#communication #laurenshaw #relationships #counseling #thearlingtoncenter