No Quick Fix

By Lauren Shaw, Ph.D.

When I lived in Tennessee, there was a Taco Bell that I used to stop at on my way home from night classes. I cannot even describe how slowly this particular “fast food” restaurant moved. There were times when I seriously felt tempted to jump over that counter and make my own bean burrito.

Clearly, I can be impatient. I want my fast food fast. When I go to the grocery store, I look for the quickest line. Sometimes I switch if the line is not moving fast enough. And then I get really irritated if I ended up switching to the slower line. I love it when I can watch a TV show without having to watch commercials. Sometimes I even wish people would talk a little faster. I realize that this impatience is not my most attractive quality, and I am working on it.

I don’t think I am the only one. We live in a society that caters to the impatient. In fact, I think our culture that tells us that we should not be forced to wait. Endless information and entertainment are instantly at our fingertips. When we complain about a webpage loading slowly, our complaints seem totally valid. If we need to be in touch with someone, we can usually reach them instantly, through a phone call, email, or text. We often don’t have to wait at all for the things that we want and need. Our attention spans seem to be diminishing in proportion to the increased pace at which our lives move. In many ways, the instant nature of our culture is a good thing. How great is it to be able to fast forward through commercials? How many moms out there have thanked God for the speed at which you can make a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese? But in other ways, the instant nature of our culture is dangerous. We have learned to expect things immediately. Our culture and our very nature have taught us to look for the quick fix, the easy solution. And there is a lot about life that is neither quick nor easy. There are a lot of pains, a lot of struggles, and a lot of conflicts that are not resolved in minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. Some hard times last a long time. Think about the pain of infertility, about coming face to face with disappointment and sadness every month, or every time you hear a baby cry. Think about the grief of losing a loved one, and daily confronting the pain of life without someone you once couldn’t imagine life without. Think about the time it takes to recreate a sense of home and community after a major move. Think about depression, anxiety, loneliness. And it’s not just the big things either. Some seasons of life are just hard. A stressful job may stay stressful for a long time; a marriage may remain under pressure season after season. Sometimes there is no quick fix and no instant answer. And that’s okay. It’s not just you. Everyone wants a quick fix, and everyone faces times and trials where there does not seem to be one. There is not something wrong with you because your problems don’t resolve in an hour, like they do on TV. You are not failing because it’s not easier yet. Just because it’s not better now does not mean that it won’t get better. This may last, but it will not last forever. I write these things because they are true, and because I too need the reminder. So breathe deep. Persevere. Persist. Hope. Acknowledge that there is not an easy answer or instant solution. Be kind to yourself and to those you love who are facing struggles without fast solutions. Tell them that you will not tire of loving them, will not tire of supporting them, will not tire of hearing about their pain. Remind yourself of the Truth you know about trials, suffering, and perseverance. And then cling to that Truth with everything you’ve got.

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