First Day of First Grade

Dear Lena,

On Wednesday you will get on the bus and head toward your first day of first grade. You’ve been on the bus before and you’ve been to school before, but I know that this year marks a change. This is your first time away from home all day. Your first time eating lunch at school, your first time navigating recess and the playground in this way. Your first time in all-day, serious, school.

The first time we put your brother on the bus you were three years old. You looked at me and said, “We just let them take him away? That’s it?!” I laughed and then I cried a little, because it does just feel so very weird, happy and sad and scary and strange, all at once on a big yellow bus.

And I know that something changes for kids in first grade. You haven’t been a baby for a long time, but I can still see traces of it, traces of your babyhood, in your face, in your speech, in your innocence. And some of that will still be there after this year, but almost all of it will be gone. You are starting to build your own life and relationships in a new way. You are learning and growing at a tremendous rate. And that changes a child, in a way that is fantastic and wonderful and sad and terrifying.

You’ve always been a force. Within an hour of being born a seasoned nurse told us she had never heard a baby holler so loudly. You burst through every stereotype that says girls are quieter, calmer, and gentler. You live full speed, in neon. You experience your feelings with a grand intensity. You love with a fierceness I’ve never witnessed. You see people and the world in a way that far surpasses your years. You know what you like and what you don’t like. For two years you only wore rainboots, because that was your style.

I don’t know what school will be like for you. I think it can be a hard place for kids who live in neon, who ask questions many adults never even imagine asking. And I worry a little bit. Sometimes I worry a lot.

As grownups, I am not sure we always do a great job with little kids who don’t fit the mold, who are loud and a little wild. I pray that you have teachers who see the beauty in who you are and know how to help you channel all your energy and spunk.

I know that somewhere along the line girls pick up the message that they are both too much and never enough. (I think boys often do too, but probably in a different way). And I want you to hold tight, with all the fierceness that you possess, to the truth that you are not too much and that you are exactly enough. Your papa and I wouldn’t want you to be anyone else. We love your spunk and your fire and we think that you have so very much to offer the world. We want you to be exactly who you are.

For months now, any time you or your sister get to pick a show or movie, you pick Moana. You know every word to every song. And there is this beautiful scene where Moana feels overwhelmed by the task in front of her, where she questions if she is enough, if she is out of her depth. And her grandmother comes and speaks truth over her, reminding her who she is, who she loves, and what she has been called to do.

My prayer for you is that you never lose the clear sense of who you are, who and what you love, and who you want to be in the world. The details will change through the years, but the core will stay the same. You are Lena Jane, deeply loved and treasured by God, loved by your family. You love to run and play and sing, and most of all, you love your family and friends. You are a child with deep creativity, kindness, compassion, and strength. You see people. And I never, ever want you to forget or lose sight of these things.

I am so excited for all that you are going to learn. Remember that grades and report cards don’t matter nearly as much as we sometimes think they do. What does matter is kindness. Be kind. See the kid who is sitting alone, the person who is left out. See them and care for them. That is the stuff that matters.

Lena, I love you and I am proud of you. Get on that big yellow bus and start first grade, knowing that we love you, knowing the God loves you, and knowing who you are.

Love,

Mama

#parenting #school #transition #family #laurenshaw