Mental Health Thermometers
- Dec 12, 2016
- 3 min read
I love to read. If I have unexpected free time, you can bet the farm that you will find me reading. I listen to podcasts about books and my Amazon wishlist is about 12 pages of books. The library is a marvel I will never get over. In all the twisting, turning, unexpected seasons of life, I always make time to read.
Except for when I don’t. And sometimes I don’t. This tends to be the case when stress or anxiety or sleep-deprivation (or the horrifying trifecta of all three) are completely overwhelming me. In those seasons, I spend a lot of time scrolling social media, watching television, or washing my floors. Those aren’t bad things, but when I am doing a disproportionate amount of them, it usually indicates that I am struggling.
A few years ago, my husband told me he didn’t think I was doing very well. I bristled and asked what made him think that. He said he had noticed I wasn’t reading, and that when I am not reading it tends to be a sign that I am not in a good place. I hadn’t realized it yet, but what he said was true. Reading is one of the gauges that helps me know how I am doing.
We all have these mental health thermometers, these indicators of our mental and emotional state. There are, of course, the obvious things. For most of us, there are clear markers that we aren’t doing well, like short tempers, easy irritation and frustration, forgetfulness, and diminished self-control. And, conversely, there are obvious signs that we are doing well mentally and emotionally, like feelings of happiness and enthusiasm, ready patience and kindness, energy, and good decision making.
But there are other, more idiosyncratic markers. There are things unique to us that let us know that we are doing well or doing poorly, maybe even before the conscious recognition. Sometimes we aren’t even aware that we are struggling within ourselves or in our lives. Our behaviors can show us when something may be awry.
For example, my husband usually keeps his car fairly neat. If I drive his car and notice that there is trash on the floor, is serves as a small indicator that something may be a little off for him. My dad loves to take long walks outside. If I found out he hadn’t been walking in two weeks, I would immediately wonder if something was wrong.
Many of the behaviors that serve as indicators of our inner health are also behaviors that contribute to mental and emotional health. I tend to have the energy and motivation to exercise when I am in a good place; conversely, regular exercise helps me to feel healthy all around. I tend to have the discipline to go to bed at a reasonable hour when I am feeling good; when I am anxious and overwhelmed my bedtime gets later and later, I get more tired, and thus I become more anxious and overwhelmed. It’s not hard to see that these thermometers of mental health can also significantly impact how healthy we are.
Sometimes it is easy to miss this reciprocal nature. Sometimes our healthy self-care behaviors start slipping, and we aren’t paying enough attention to why they are slipping, what it means about our emotional health, and how it will impact our sense of well-being. Sometimes life is busy and hard and we don’t have the energy to do the very things that would make things feel a little less hard.
My husband’s comment changed the way I think about reading. It’s no longer just something that I love to do. It has become something that I see as a gauge of how well I am doing. If I am not reading, I pay attention to why and how I am feeling. Sometimes, it’s just because there is an addictive show on Netflix I would rather be watching. That’s totally fine. But sometimes it’s because I am not doing so great. And one of the tools that I have to help me feel better is to re-engage this self-care practice.
Reading may not be your thing. But I know you have your things. The unique behaviors and activities that you do when you are feeling balanced and healthy. The behaviors that tend to stop when you’re not doing as well. The behaviors that can contribute positively to your health when you struggle. I challenge you to think about what your mental health thermometers are, and to pay close attention to what they are telling you.
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