Grinch Thoughts

Yesterday my family watched the movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I’m not quite sure how I forgot, but that movie is borderline terrifying. My five-year-old loves the book, but said the actual Jim Carey Grinch was “everything I am scared of in the world.” We were sitting on the couch talking about how scared she was and how she couldn’t stop thinking about the movie. She said that when she closed her eyes she saw the Grinch and heard the “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch” song. She said she couldn’t make it stop.

Definitely a parenting win on the movie choice.

We decided that we would try and come up with something else she could see when she closed her eyes. She chose the Christmas tree with all the twinkling lights and pretty ornaments. We picked a song that she can sing every time the Grinch song comes into her head. She picked “Away in a Manager,” and we sang it together. It seemed to help.

We all have Grinch thoughts. Thoughts that bother us, that creep around the edges of our mind, trying to steal our joy and happiness. Thoughts that get stuck in our head that we just cannot stop thinking, even though we know they are not productive or helpful or healthy.

There are some unpleasant, painful thoughts that we need to listen to. There are things we need to think about, process, and work through. Some thoughts nag at our minds because they need attention.

But some thoughts are just the Grinch trying to steal our Christmas.

You can’t stop a thought. It’s humanly impossible. Once something comes into your brain, it is really, really difficult to get it out. Which is why “just stop thinking about it,” is awful advice to give a person who is worrying about something.

If I tell you to think about anything but a pink elephant, I can guarantee that a pink elephant danced across your mind. And every time you remember that you aren’t supposed to be thinking about that elephant, you will think about it again. It’s just how our brains work. You can’t stop a thought.

But you can replace it. You can choose to focus your mind and attention on something else, something more positive or hopeful or productive. Instead of picturing the Grinch,

you can imagine a Christmas tree. Instead of repeating to yourself all the things that have gone wrong in a day, you can list the things you are grateful for. Instead of ruminating on something you are anxious about, you can recite a favorite poem.

It is important to repeat that this is not a recipe for denial. Just because something is unpleasant does not mean we should avoid it, or try and replace the topic with something more cheerful.

But we all have those Grinch thoughts, thoughts whose only purpose and function is to steal our joy and distract us from the things that deserve our attention. Grinch thoughts do not move us closer to a healthy place, they just lurk in the corners creating worry, distraction, and irritation. Rather than trying to stop the Grinch thoughts, try to replace them.

One way to replace Grinch thoughts is to practice slow reading of Scripture or poetry. Both forms of writing require full mental attention and engagement. There is some research that suggests that reading on a screen of any kind increases base level anxiety a small amount. Reading on paper helps foster slower reading and sustained attention, which helps our minds move away from Grinch thoughts.

Gratitude is another excellent strategy for replacing Grinch thoughts. Focus on creating a list of things you are grateful for, write thank you cards, or think of who you would like to thank and make the phone call or send the text. The practice of gratitude helps replace the unhealthy thoughts with more healthy thought patterns.

And finally, connecting with others is a useful way to replace Grinch thoughts. Part of what helped my daughter find comfort last night was singing together and visualizing the Christmas tree. But a bigger part was that we were snuggled on the couch talking. We had each other’s full attention. Connection helps move our focus from those irksome thoughts and on to each other. When you feel captivated by Grinch thoughts, look for someone to connect with.

Next time you find an unproductive, unhealthy thought lurking in your mind, visualize it all green and dressed up like the Grinch. Try slow reading, reciting memorized material, practicing gratitude, and connecting with others. Practice replacing Grinch thoughts with the things you really want to be thinking about.

#anxiety #laurenshaw #arlingtoncounselingassociates #thearlingtoncenter #therapy #spirituality #counseling