Thanks Giving

Last night my husband was doing some repairs on our van, and sometime after midnight he discovered that he didn't have the part he needs. He can’t put the van back together without that part. So we are down to one car. One car. Two jobs. Three kids who need to be separate places.

He borrowed a car from sweet friends, and I drove the other car to work. Part way through my drive, it started to make a rather unsettling noise. Then, as I got closer to work, it began to make a really awful, really unsettling noise.

I called and tried to describe the noise, and he told me I probably shouldn’t drive it home. So, now we have zero working vehicles.

He left to take our youngest to her sitter and saw that the car he had borrowed has a flat tire.

So, somehow we are down to negative one car.

Happy Monday.

And not just any Monday, but the Monday of Thanksgiving. I want Thanksgiving to be a sacred time, a time where everything pauses and we sit and reflect meaningfully on all that we are grateful for. But the reality is that sometimes Thanksgiving starts with three broken cars and five places to be. And sometimes it starts with much, much worse.

There are many who are staring at the week ahead and wondering what they have to be grateful for. There are many who feel broken and scared and alone, for whom the holiday season holds more pain than joy.

For those people, I want you to know that I see you. I know that the holidays can be hard when they look so different from how you want them to look. When the bank account is empty. When chairs that used to be full are now empty. It is hard to feel grateful and celebrate when pain and sadness and heartbreak have invaded your life.

There is no way around how painful and difficult this season can be when you are hurting or alone. I do not want to minimize or dismiss how truly hard it is.

There is a simple and timely practice that I believe can help. It’s not a fix for the hurt and heartache you are facing, but it can be a soothing balm for painful places.

The practice of thanks giving can be a source of comfort and strength in dark times. There is tremendous goodness in the actual act of giving thanks, the practice of gratitude and gratefulness. Brother David Steindel-Rast said, “The root of joy is gratefulness…It is not joy that makes us grateful; it is gratitude that makes us joyful.”

Gratitude is a practice that can be enacted in any state or any season. There is always, always something to be grateful for. Always. And when we practice naming these things and giving thanks for them, we open a window for joy to pour in.

Brennan Manning wrote, “It is simply not possible to be simultaneously grateful and resentful or full of self-pity.” We can hold gratitude in one hand and grief in another; we can hold gratitude in one hand and uncertainty in another. But if we are holding gratitude, there is not room to also hold resentment, bitterness, jealousy, and so many other painful emotions. Life is hard; at times almost unbearably so. There is no doubt that we need kindness, compassion, grace, and gentleness for ourselves and others. And there is no doubt that choosing a life of gratitude can bring us joy alongside the excruciating pain and teach us to live with the kindness, compassion, grace, and gentleness we so desperately need.

So, no matter how your Thanksgiving week started, let’s practice gratitude together. After I finish writing, I am going to sit by the window in my office. I am going to start writing a list of things that I am especially grateful for this morning. My list will include hot oatmeal, soft slippers, and the snuggles and kisses my kids heaped on me this morning. I am going to try to pay attention to all the things that happen this day, this week, that I am grateful for. I am going to recognize all of these things as gifts from the hand of a loving Giver.

Tonight I am going to try to write some thank you notes to people in my life who have showed up, helped out, or provided support. When I stop to think about, there are so many people I want to thank. There is so much to be grateful for.

Some weeks start with a lot of stress and no working cars. Some weeks start with joy and anticipation. However your week started, let's not miss the invitation to stop and give thanks. Let's open the window for joy to pour in.

#gratitude #thanksfulness #holidays #stress #relationships #laurenshaw #arlingtoncounselingassociates #thearlingtoncenter