What It Means to Be Strong

Last week I was sitting with someone who is struggling. She has battled anxiety for decades, and had recently been hit with another round of debilitating fear and panic. She wept as she wondered why she couldn’t be strong, why she couldn’t be free from her anxiety, and why life had felt so hard for so long. She concluded that she just wasn’t a strong person.

Any my heart ached for her. I saw her believing a lie that many of us believe, a lie that I have made agreement with a time or two myself. She believed that because she struggled she was not strong. That because life is hard she was doing something wrong.

But when I look at her, I see something completely different. I see someone who, through years of struggle, has continued to learn and grow. I see someone who faces fear within herself every single day and keeps on going. I see someone who has been knocked down but never overcome. I see a picture of strength that blows me away.

So often we need to be reminded what true strength is. We think that the fearless are brave, the unshakeable are strong, and the unquestioning possess the true faith. The truth is that there is no courage without fear, no strength without struggle, and no depth of faith without doubt. It is the fear that calls forth courage, the struggle that produces strength, and the doubts that help us understand what faith really is.

Two of my kids started school last week. One of them was anxious, filled with questions and worries about what his teachers and classmates would be like and how he would do. The other was confident and sure, excited and unafraid.

Who showed more courage starting school that first day? The one who skipped onto the bus full of excitement and enthusiasm? Or the one who wrestled through fear and smiled bravely at me as he stepped on the bus? I believe that both of my kids are brave and strong, but one showed up with all his strength that day, and I am so proud of him.

If you are feeling bruised and defeated, wondering why it is so hard for you, I want to remind you of your strength. The strength that keeps you pressing on and struggling through. The strength that reaches out a hand and ask for help. The strength that keeps wrestling, keeps trying, keeps asking hard questions. I want you to know that you have a strength the world desperately needs. And I want to thank you for not giving up.

It feels hard because it is hard, not because you are doing something wrong. We all have different struggles, different resources, different seasons to walk through. Strength is not a comparison game or a competition. Strength is engaging the struggle, getting up when you get knocked down, and striving to be a force of kindness and gentleness.

Thank you for your strength.

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