Not the Complete Package

I think my family members are really funny. My parents and brother and sister are some of the funniest people I know, and my siblings both married people who are wonderful at making others laugh.

And here’s the thing: I’m not funny. (I feel like I should add some comment about “except for funny looking,” or something like that. But I think that proves my point. Not funny.) I laugh easily, and I think I can be fun to be around, but I am not super witty or quick with the joke. And for a long time, that bugged me. Everyone likes funny people. Why couldn’t I be funnier?

I ran into a similar feeling the other day when talking to another mom. She is super crafty and creative, and was sharing some wonderful ideas of crafts she has been doing with her preschoolers. Well, shoot. I love coloring with my kids and reading books, but I am no crafting genius. Not by a long shot. Why couldn’t I be more crafty?

When I find myself hitting up against that feeling, I need to remember that I can’t do and be everything. None of us can. No one can have all the positive qualities: humor, creativity, brilliance, kindness, patience, logic, imagination, insight. Nor can we have all the skills: cooking, singing, painting, gardening, organizing, teaching, decorating, athletics. We weren’t made to do and be it all. We were made to be ourselves, and the best versions of ourselves possible. Sometimes that means growing and stretching. I hope I never stop striving to be the most patient and compassionate version of myself. But sometimes that means accepting who we are and what we do well and what we don’t do well. Sometimes that means choosing where we will invest our limited time and energy.

In a world that often feels like it is trying to tell us that we are small and much less than, it can be so powerful to identify what our gifts are and to feel good about those gifts. I think everyone should have a clear answer to the question “What are your strengths?” We should know our strengths and celebrate these gifts and invest in them. My sister is wonderful at decorating her house and very thoughtful (and funny, of course). My friend Michelle is a gifted photographer and asks the most insightful questions. Jen is incredibly discerning and insanely organized. We all have gifts and strengths and talents. And it’s wonderful to know them in ourselves and call them out in others.

But we also have areas where we aren’t naturally gifted or don’t excel. And there is freedom and wisdom in embracing those areas and letting them be. As ridiculous as it sounds, I find it freeing to acknowledge that being funny just isn’t my thing. There are lots of areas where I invest my time and energy; I read, bake, exercise, hand-letter, write, invest in my relationships. I don’t garden, sing well, have a great sense of direction, run marathons, or tell a great joke. And that’s ok.

We cannot do and be everything. We aren’t supposed to. We are supposed to need each other, and to all bring our gifts and strengths to the table. You are free from the expectation and burden of needing to be the complete package. No one actually is. You are free to embrace the gifts and strengths you were given as well as the areas of weakness. You are free to invest in the things that spark your passion and leave the rest behind.

#relationships #comparisons #community #strengths #weaknesses #personality #counseling #thearlingtoncenter #arlingtoncounselingassociates #laurenshaw