The Little Things
- Lauren Shaw, Ph.D.
- Sep 21, 2015
- 3 min read
One day last fall I was driving my son to kindergarten, and we realized we had forgotten his backpack. I planned on driving past his school again in about an hour, and I said that I would just drop it off then. It had been a rough morning on a rather difficult week, and my son burst into tears. “I can’t handle it Mama. It’s one more thing and I JUST CAN’T HANDLE IT.” I knew just how he felt. On most days, this would be a minor issue, but on that day it was one more thing, and it was too much. It was the cumulative effect of a number of teeny, tiny little things that added up, and it became the proverbial straw the broke the camel’s back. We turned around and got his backpack. Isn’t that how it often is? It’s the little things that make you cranky, that weigh you down, that leave you feeling like you are dragging a bag of rocks behind you. These are the things that lead to tears, harsh words, and emotional meltdowns. I have watched people walk through trials and impossibly difficult seasons and live through trauma and tragedy. Some seasons are excruciatingly hard and undeniably painful. Support and care is essential, and often it is in these times that communities gather around to offer help and love. These experiences leave their battle wounds, but there are times when the person who is suffering walks out stronger and more sure than ever before. There is a different kind of pain and struggle that comes from the little injuries of daily life. Sleepless nights with a young child, ugly words spoken in the context of a loving relationship, rain that leaves the hem of your pants wet for hours, being left out of a social engagement you badly want to be a part of. These are minor issues, yet they add up and leave a different kind of battle wound. These are the little pains that leave us dull and burdened, dragging through a life we would rather explode through. Someone once told me that these little burdens add up to a “slow death.” If that is true, than I believe there is also another, brighter side to this reality. If the small pains have the power to slowly seep the life out of us, than I believe that the small joys also hold great power. If it is the little things that can ruin a day, than it is the little things that can help redeem it. I believe that there is grace and goodness in the perfectly warm cup of morning coffee, the sun shining through the icy tree branches, and the soft burning of the wood stove. I believe there is potential for joy in the unexpected phone call from a friend, in the snuggle from a child, and in the crisp freshness of clean sheets. I believe there are whispers of hope and redemption in each of the beautiful, comforting, and pleasant moments that sneak into even the most challenging of days. They are all grace, all reminders of goodness and hope and joy.
The things about these little miracle moments is that they can be easy to overlook. The little burdens seem impossible to ignore, seem to scream and shout in our faces. The little joys whisper softly in our ear. We need special eyes to see the blessed little moments, special ears to hear their whisper. If you want to be more open and aware of these little moments, it takes a special mindfulness and intentionality. I encourage you to practice being open to these moments, so that you do not miss one of these whispers of joy. Practice this awareness while you are brushing your teeth or putting your contacts in, preparing your mind and heart for the day as you prepare your body. Then, look for these moments. It seems that recognizing and appreciating these moments is a skill that gets strengthened with practice. Once you see your favorite song on the radio as a gentle reminder that there is beauty in the world, it will become easier to be aware of the other little reminders all around you. Then, write them down. Write down the beauty and comfort you find in the little moments, and revisit the list when the small burdens become overwhelming. This increased awareness can help reveal the power of the little joys. We can fill ourselves up on these little joys and their message, a reminder that the little burdens are not the final word. We can soak them in and carry them with us, strengthening us to press through the tiny arrows and hear all that the little moments have to say.
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