First Things First

One time my laptop caught on fire. Really and truly sparked and smoked and flamed. No people or property were injured, but that laptop took its dying breath and went out in a blaze of glory. Truthfully, I am surprised it lasted as long as it did. It worked itself to death, until the moment that it could not handle anymore and it quite literally burned out. I’ve seen lots of people do the same. Many times we feel empty, exhausted, and worn out. We end up feeling like we are sleep walking, going through life only partly alive. Do you remember that scene from Princess Bride, where Miracle Max declares Wesley as “mostly dead?” He goes on to say that “we all know that mostly dead means slightly alive.” Even if you don’t get the movie reference, you probably know what I am talking about. Many of us live days just going through the motions, not really experiencing the fullness life has to offer. We feel tired and sluggish, depleted and drained. I think one of the reasons that this happens is that we quit paying attention to ourselves, to our bodies and hearts and minds and the things that they need to survive and function in a healthy way.

As human beings we have limited physical and psychological resources. We need rest, we need recharging. This is reflected everywhere we look. The changing seasons reflect periods of active growth and rest. Fields are planted, harvested, and let lie. Tides ebb and flow. Our bodies need sleep, food, and water or they cease to function. Yet many of us do not recognize or honor the need to rest and recharge. We are busy, we have obligations to fulfill and demands to meet. We are constantly accessible by e-mail or phone, we ceaselessly receive texts and notifications. There is often no real down time. When we do think about taking a break, we feel guilty caring for our hearts and bodies, as if we should not have normal human limits. It can feel selfish to think or talk about taking care of yourself. And many times, we just don’t pay attention to whether or not we are caring for ourselves in the busy pace of life. We just don’t pay attention at all.

So how do we take care of ourselves? The first step toward healthy self-care is really very simple. Pay attention to your physical needs. When we see children acting fussy, one of the first things we do is ask them if they are tired, hungry, or thirsty. And yet as adults, we forget to ask ourselves these questions. Are you pushing yourself so hard that your basic physical needs aren’t being met? Sleep is often the first physical need to be neglected. Consider the physical effects of sleep deprivation: aching muscles, dizziness, nausea, dry mouth, hallucinations, hand tremors, headaches, increased blood pressure, irritability, memory loss, slow word recall. Even relatively mild sleep deprivation can cause many of these symptoms. It is very difficult to be the person you were made to be when you are consistently physically exhausted. I know that certain stages of life are not at all conducive to sleep. As a parent of young children, believe me, I know. But we need to make regular sleep a priority in order to really care for ourselves. This may mean missing a favorite TV show, letting laundry go unfolded, cutting short a social gathering, or going to bed earlier than you thought you ever would as an adult. Prioritizing sleep is prioritizing your optimal functioning. Another aspect of self-care that people often neglect is adequate nutrition. There are physical and emotional consequences for not eating enough or not eating food with real nutritional value. Our bodies need real food and water to function. I am not preaching any specific diet or advocating cutting out ice cream, caffeine, or anything else. What I am advising is taking a look at your eating patterns to see if you are really taking care of yourself in this department. Sleep and food are the basics, but for us to thrive physically (which makes it easier to thrive emotionally, relationally, and psychologically) we need activity too. Healthy bodies were made to move. It’s hard to over-emphasize the therapeutic value of physical activity. Walk, ride a bike, play tag, garden. Whatever it is that you do that gets your body moving, do it. Perhaps you read the beginning of this post and were expected something more. Something more profound, something more insightful, something new. I mean, we all know that we need sleep and food and water and we all know we should exercise. This is pretty simple stuff. And don’t worry, there is more, and I will be writing about it in the next few weeks. But these are the basics, and they are often neglected. I am amazed at how often I forget these simple principles and how often I see others doing the same. These are some of the first things I stop to assess when I notice that I am feeling stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed. I think we could all use the reminder. After all, we don’t want to burn out.

#selfcare #rest #counseling #arlingtoncounselingassociates #thearlingtoncenter #laurenshaw